"They" prevails
The dictionary now acknowledges the nonbinary pronoun.
Thanks to everyone who shared their support for the “Quick Hits” feature. It’s a bit obvious, I suppose, but it’ll be a great way to include a few more stories with a bit less reading for everybody.
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Onto today’s LGBTQ news!
The dictionary adds nonbinary definition of “they”
Using “they” as a singular pronoun has been very common usage for a very long time. It’s always been better than the binary mouthful “he or she,” and a lot of people use it without even realizing it. It’s only when specific individuals started asking to be identified with “they” instead of “he” or “she” that people suddenly struggled and complained.
Well, Merriam-Webster is over all the whining.
Now, if you click through and read the definition, you’ll see that what’s new is definition 4, defining “they” as referring “to a single person whose gender identity is nonbinary.” It’s an excellent sign of progress.
But keep in mind that definition 3 was already there — and has been for a while — confirming the common use of “they” when used to refer to a singular indefinite (“no one,” “everyone,” etc.). Now it officially applies to (definite) nonbinary individuals too.
If you want to reject somebody’s identity, you’re not going to be able to blame grammar anymore. You’ll just have to own that you’re prejudiced against them.
Study shows link between discrimination and suicide
A new study from the Williams Institute finds that experiencing discrimination has a significant effect on whether transgender people contemplate suicide. The results are from an analysis of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, the largest study of transgender people ever undertaken. Of those who had experienced four or more instances of discrimination in the past year, over half (51.2%) had attempted suicide, and nearly all (97.7%) had contemplated it.
Whenever we discuss suicide, it’s important to clarify that discrimination doesn’t cause suicide. But discrimination does create a form of psychological stress that can cause the kinds of mental health issues like depression and anxiety that can lead to suicidal thinking. Studies like this that reveal such high rates of suicidal thinking show just how consequential that discrimination can be. These findings are hardly revelatory, but the fact they come from such a huge sample speaks to their veracity.
The findings actually reveal four different kinds of rejection that were all associated to some degree with increased suicidal thinking: discrimination, family rejection, violence, and inability to find gender-affirming medical care.
We really need to reconcile the fact that all the people who show a willingness to discriminate against transgender people (e.g. the Trump administration) or even those who show a skepticism about affirming transgender kids (e.g. TERFs) are doing real harm to transgender people’s lives.
Trans murder victims face indignity after death
There is a yearly epidemic of fatal violence against transgender people — specifically transgender women of color under 30. This weekend was the 19th such murder this year, that of 20-year-old Ja’leyah-Jamar in Kansas City, Kansas. And like so many other victims of transphobic violence, Ja’leyah-Jamar also faced a tragic indignity even after her death.
When police reported her death, they identified her as a “male” and with a male name. It took friends and family to identify her properly.
This frequent phenomenon speaks to how necessary it is to make it easier for trans people to update their documentation. Moreover, it raises the question of how many transgender people are being murdered that we never hear about because they aren’t properly identified.
DC considering “gay panic”/”trans panic” defense ban
The Washington, DC City Council is considering two different bills that would prohibit defendants from claiming that their anti-LGBTQ violence was the result of “panic” caused by the victims’ identity. Unlike the eight other states that have passed such bans, one of DC’s bills would also prohibit “panic” claims for many other protected classes like race and religion.
“Panic” defenses have been particularly attached to LGBTQ identities because the identities are often invisible and because of connections to sexual encounters. For example, someone commits anti-gay violence and then claim they believed someone of the same sex was hitting on them, or they commit anti-trans violence and then claimed they panicked when the person they were attracted to revealed they were trans. These pleadings are still made all the time, and there’s a storied history of violent criminals receiving reduced sentences because their victims were queer.
Oklahoma church tries to beat the gay out of congregant
As you may be noticing from reading this newsletter, there’s still a movement to try to convert people out of being queer. It’s not exactly the same as the old “ex-gay” movement that promised real heterosexuality, but it still tries to shame people into celibacy and claims to at least diminish same-sex attraction.
While it’s been great that many cities and states have been banning the use of conversion therapy on minors, this only applies to licensed therapists selling a service. The laws don’t touch any kind of religious counseling, which is why the movement has moved more into the underground space of churches. In one Oklahoma church, the results turned violent.
23-year-old named Sean Cormie came out as gay earlier this spring, and his family asked him to bring his boyfriend to church. But when he did so earlier this month, the pastor launched into a sermon condemning homosexuality. The two tried to leave, but only the partner got out. Cormie was ganged up on as they violently tried to exorcise his homosexuality out of him, as he explained to KFOR Channel 4:
"They hold me down, pin me down, and I’m crying, and the Holy Spirit just comes through me, and they keep speaking in tongues, praying over me." Cormie said he was even punched in the face. "I was just crying 'mercy, mercy.'"
This is an extreme occurrence, but it still speaks to how much might be taking place in other church communities we don’t hear about. I’m not sure it’s enough to just keep thinking of conversion therapy as an ineffective practice. We need to recognize that any attempts to de-queer a person are straight up abusive, and we need to hold religious communities just as accountable for perpetrating them.
Holding churches accountable for abuse is, of course, not the most encouraging undertaking.
EXERCISE: How to read a conservative essay
If you’ve ever wondered what goes into opposition research, a new essay over at the anti-LGBTQ journal Public Discourse provides a really great example of how to figure out when a bigot is trying to hide their bigotry. You can read the essay attacking California’s inclusive policies on LGBTQ education and conversion therapy, but to truly figure out what’s going on, you need to read it backwards.
Starting with the author’s bio, you’ll see that Laura Haynes is a retired psychologist, who speaks about LGBTQ issues and “religious freedom” (RED FLAG), and, oh — she’s spoken on behalf of several organizations that promote conversion therapy. We know her motive.
Then read the last three paragraphs, and you’ll see that she thinks people deserve the right to “heal” from LGBTQ identities by decreasing their sexual attractions or gender identity. Okay, so now we know her whole motive is to try to erase queer people’s identities under the guise that this will help them.
With all of this in mind, we can go back and see the different studies she tries to cite and the way she frames them to suggest that they don’t actually show that conversion therapy is harmful. How is she manipulating them? Is the point she’s making about them actually an accurate representation of what they found? The answer’s no, obviously, but it’s a lot easier to discern when you understand her rather harmful motive.
This essay doesn’t really have any significant implications, so I’m going to leave it to you, my readers, to take a critical look if you’re so inclined. Hit me up with what you find and maybe I’ll highlight the results later this week.
About Sean Spicer on Dancing with the Stars
Okay, this isn’t exactly an LGBTQ story, though I can’t help but think that lime green ruffled shirt somehow makes it gay culture. I just feel like I need to address Sean Spicer’s return to gaslighting.
It’s totally disturbing that Trump’s previous lie secretary — the guy who claimed Trump had a bigger inauguration crowd and who claimed Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons — is being normalized on a mainstream show like Dancing with the Stars. But I think what’s worse is the way he’s trying to play the victim.
After his low salsa score (12/30!), Spicer tweeted that he thinks the judges were biased against him because he’s a Christian. The thing is, I watched a lot of Sean Spicer when he was still in the White House but I don’t think I even knew anything about his religious beliefs. And as Hemant Mehta pointed out, plenty of other wretched bigots who identify as Christians like Tucker Carlson and Rick Perry have been on the show before too.
It was Spicer’s job to defend a lot of terrible things that Trump did in the first few months of the administration, and he’s never apologized for that, let alone even acknowledged anything problematic about this president. The idea that he deserves sympathy points because of his religion speaks to the idea this White House has put forth that Christians deserve special privileges and respect in society. Please don’t fall for it.
Quick Hits!
Today we learned about the passing of veteran journalist Cokie Roberts, but did you know she was a strong LGBTQ ally too?
Shane Gillis, who was unhired from Saturday Night Live, claimed that he was “funny enough to get SNL. That can’t be taken away.” Yeah, bro, but if you’re so prejudiced that people don’t want to work with you, how far is “funny enough to get SNL” really going to get you?
Gay Australian athlete Simon Dunn has opened up about his personal struggles with anxiety when it comes to how he presents himself on social media.
Anti-LGBTQ megadonor Richard Uihlein is trying to buy a seat on the Virginia state legislature with a $500,000 contribution to Republican Nick Freitas.
The Australian dating show Married at First Site had to drop a gay Muslim contestant because they couldn’t find him a match.
Weber State University just welcomed its first openly gay student body president. As a gay former student body president president, I always get excited to see others take such roles, but this seems more significant when you realize Weber is in very-Mormon Ogden, Utah.
Meet Josh Owens, the first openly gay man to run for governor of Indiana:
Thanks as always for reading, and please don’t hesitate to share your feedback!
Also, a quick shout-out to my buddy Stu who spotted my unintended pun (read: typo) in yesterday’s issue when I wrote: “No wonder queer media is in such dire straights!” I’ve left the misspelling in the web version because I was so amused at the irony of my mistake.
Until next time, stay platinum!
(Non-binary protest sign photo credit: Flickr/Ted Eytan.)