How NOT to apologize
Wow is this other new SNL cast member terrible.
I sat through all three hours of that boring debate last night just to be able to tell y’all that LGBTQ issues didn’t come up at all. You’re welcome.
But, there was an important and touching moment when Mayor Pete shared his own coming out story from when he was serving under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”:
A lot of people have been trying to police Buttigieg’s story, suggesting he came out too late or whatever, and I think that’s pretty sad. Everybody’s journey is different, and we should celebrate everyone who is able to make peace with themselves and find safety and security after coming out.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t be encouraging potential trailblazers who could make a big difference by coming out, nor should we go easy on those who capitalize on lies at other people’s expense to make their own lives more comfortable. But come on, y’all. There’s an openly gay man appearing on people’s screens, telling his story, and making a pretty credible case for his viability in the presidential election. We don’t need to critique that.
Onto today’s news:
Federal judge advances trans birth certificate suit in Ohio
For years, there’s been a patchwork of laws governing transgender people’s identity documents because each state defines its birth certificates differently. Slowly but surely, however, LGBTQ legal organizations have been knocking down state laws that outright prohibit transgender people from updating their documents, last year in Idaho, earlier this year in Kansas, and seemingly soon in Ohio.
A federal judge ruled this week that a suit challenging Ohio’s prohibition on birth certificate changes can move forward, rejecting the state’s motion to dismiss. What was crucial to the ruling was that U.S. District Judge Michael H. Watson acknowledged what transgender people experience. If it’s true, he wrote, that “gender identity is the critical determinant of sex,” then “the court is not convinced that Ohio law prohibits plaintiffs’ request.”
In other words, if trans people’s lives are defined by their gender identity, not their genitalia or some other arbitrary biological basis, then the state has to recognize that.
The case is not decided yet, but it’s a promising ruling for the trans people fighting to update their birth certificates.
LGBTQ orgs beg U.N. for protection — from Trump
A coalition of LGBTQ groups in the United States signed onto a letter to the United Nations declaring that the Trump administration is “increasingly hostile to the rights of [LGBTQ+] people.” The letter cited a number of rollbacks, as well as the Trump administration’s arguments that the Supreme Court should allow for anti-LGBTQ discrimination in the workplace. The groups ask the U.N. to intervene to block the White House’s continued attacks on queer rights.
Pence is anti-gay (Part 734)
I think it’s important to show how all members of the administration continue to harm LGBTQ people, but I reject the notion there’s any room for debate about what a bigot Vice President Pence is. Still, if you need more proof, CNN uncovered that in the 90s, Pence claimed homosexuality was “a choice” or “learned behavior” — and that meant gay people shouldn’t be protected from discrimination. This should surprise no one.
(By the way, this argument might sound antiquated, but decades later, conservatives actually still very much like trying to claim that sexuality is not comparable to race and thus shouldn’t be protected under the law. Don’t believe me? The Family Research Council immediately came to Pence’s defense today.)
School’s ridiculous dress code dictates boys’ hair length
A Texas school board is under fire after multiple elementary school boys have been disciplined for wearing their hair too long. The superintendent allegedly told the one boy’s grandmother that her only choices were to “cut it, braid it and pin it up, or put my grandson in a dress and send him to school and, when prompted, my grandson must say he’s a girl,” she explained.
This is how strict the policy is written for boys’ hair:
No ponytails, ducktails, rat-tails, male buns or puffballs are allowed on male students. ALL male hair of any type SHALL NOT extend past the top of a t-shirt collar, as it lays naturally.
First of all, I can’t help but think at first glance that there is a racial component to this. The students whose hair has been policed are black, and that school board looks pretty darn white.
But the policing of gender on top of that is just extraordinary. I’m in shock that the superintendent would actually say that the only way the kid could wear his hair long is if he identified as a girl. It simultaneously suggests that the school is trans-inclusive, and yet it’s policing gender expression in a way that is anything but inclusive. It’s just disgusting.
Conversion therapist challenges Vimeo
A California pastor who describes himself as a “former homosexual” is suing the video platform Vimeo for deleting his videos talking about changing sexuality. Vimeo has a policy against any videos promoting conversion therapy (especially given it’s banned in many states) and appears to be sticking to its guns. Pastor James Domen claims it’s a violation of his free speech, but 1) that speech does measurable harm, and 2) Vimeo’s a private company and does not owe him anything. It’ll be fun to watch him lose.
Homophobia at the baggage carousel
A woman flying from Boston and Atlanta was surprised to see her luggage vandalized with homophobia when she retrieved it after landing. The word “sodomite” had been written across the Pride flag luggage tag on her bag. Delta claimed it has followed up on the incident, but that was news to the victim, who has heard nothing.
Violent threats shut down queer gym in Canada
A right-wing extremist group has taken aim at an LGBTQ gym in Edmonton, Canada, forcing it to close down as a safety precaution. Queerflex staff and members had reportedly been doxxed, meaning their personal information had been shared, enabling direct threats against them as individuals. According to “Patriot Pride Canada Wide,” Queerflex is a breeding ground for domestic terrorism and its customers are “gender confused unicorns.”
Singer Sam Smith now uses the pronouns They/Them
Earlier this year, Sam Smith came out as non-binary, and now they’re defining that identity by asking to be identified with “they/them pronouns.” Smith explained that the change comes “after a lifetime of being at war with my gender.”
Several publications were mocked for reporting on Smith’s announcement and promptly misgendering them.
SNL hired a new gay actor, and a new bigoted actor
I celebrated the news yesterday that SNL had hired its first Asian cast member ever, Bowen Yang, who is also gay. But the show also hired Shane Gillis, who has a history of using very racist (including specifically anti-Asian) and anti-gay language. And it’s not ancient history; we’re talking just a year ago he was spouting that kind of nonsense.
After clips like that one game to light, Gillis put out a classically false “apology” only “to anyone who’s actually offended by anything I’ve said.”
It has not been received well.
As I said yesterday, apologies have to be about correcting mistakes and undoing damage. If you’re only apologizing “if” people are offended, you aren’t taking any responsibility for saying things that are objectively offensive or the harm those statements caused. You’re actually blaming the victim for taking offense and ignoring your role in hurting them. This is nonsense, and I hope this “apology” isn’t the end of the conversation about whether Gillis is fit to grace the stage in Studio 8H.
The “Lovers of Modena” were actually a same-sex couple
Back in 2009, archaeologists in Bologna, Italy found a pair of skeletons buried together who were holding hands. They were believed to have been buried some 1,600 years ago or so. Now, it turns out the “Lovers of Modena” have been determined to both be men. Despite numerous other hand-holding burials found, it’s the first same-sex couple ever buried in that configuration, and researchers are a bit baffled — and homophobically trying to walk back the nickname.
Pssst… we may only be a century or two into having the language to define queer people’s identities and experiences, but we’ve always been around!
Beware of non-gendered penguins
There’s been another penguin story in the news. At Sea Life London Aquarium, a same-sex penguin couple is raising a chick, and the aquarium has decided not to gender the chick. And, well, someone over at the we-like-Trump-even-more-than-Fox network has thoughts:
Nothing gives me a good laugh like a ridiculous slippery slope, like one that leads from penguins to socialism.
Like most weeks, if you need an extra dose of me, you can hear me on the David Feldman Show!
Until next time, stay platinum! Have a great weekend!